Vibrating Dog Collar

*music* (shouts) is that the mic where you.. yeah *laughs* what the fuck man

Vibrating Dog Collar, shut up!- this is the professional .. this is a pewdiepie video i'm sorry, i'm sorry, are you the most subscribed.. i know, i can't even remember is that..- you are at the youtube conference

you could've bought a shotgun for like 60 bucks you keep throwing me these dead serious death ??? can you be nice for one second?! no ;-; hey! how it's going? my name is pewdiepie! i'm markiplier.. i'm jack- top of the morning to ya ladies!~ was that good?- no.. ..and i'm also markiplier..

*cricket sound* *awkward silence* okayyy.... (laughs) we're not here on this bed, just to fuck that comes later- that comes later.. bring it in okay clap :d cool-lalalalalalalalalalalala

ow fuck were gonna play this game, loser gets shocked and has to eat a soggy biscuit. raise the stakes on this one every time i've played this, i've lost. good! frick these guys didn't even tell me what we were - dont worry about it just grab it okay

just grab it and close your eyes do i have to hold down the button orr? yes! yeah hold down the button laughing xd my hand is tingling already oh god, i don't want to *laughing* from the memories of this thing oh fuck meee

*weird noises* i think i'll make it - * manly screaming* what da fuckk *still screaming* why does everyone get burned?? - i didn't. (shut up jack) *laughing* so it's- oh. so your sweeping strike did you cut me!?! oh my god! what the fuck

*more laughing* ahhhhhhh *screaming* yaaay :) yaaaaaay! heuehuehueheuhhe noo! t-that camera is so on the wonk it's - (pewds changed his shirt xd) don't worry 'bout it

*laughing* an hour into getting to new york and like i like got a haircut like i'm feeling my look and he just runs up and goes wkshhhhhhhhhhhaaaa *everyone's laughing* and this is a, this is like a, like this is a... i'm disfigured i'm a do not put makeup on my open wound you motherfuck is that toothpaste? - it's gonna burn

also, we discovered that is a fuck button that is, um. try the fuck button. *funky music* straight up and fuck the ball *singing?* yeahhh aw shit i'm not- ah motherfucking. you - *keep laughing, jack. keep laughing.* what the fuck, man? c'mon

*there it is. the manly screams* *more manly screaming.* i don't like it you love it. i- i don't like it let's do elimination. we're switching- but i- i just want to win. i know how you feel now. ok, we go hand, to neck, to balls, to butt hole. to teeth awww, i don't want to do the butt hole (that's what she said)

*victorious screaming mixed with cries of pain and defeat* are you kidding me?! are you kidding me?! *markimoo throws tantrum* oh, i'm done. i'll hold it. thanks, man. you really care about - *mark scoffs* *more revelries as those who win move on, and those who lose, die.* no! why'd i try to pick it up again no more testicles for me *realizes his mistake*

you're going downtown bitch i just wanted to be loved. alright, i'm sorry i play video games! grab it. grab it! *don't take that out of context* i'm fucking scared? yeah! i am actually scared! *surprise* *surprise again* *screams of pain* oh, that felt so good (sure it did)

*laughs at other peoples pain* i tried so hard. oh, that's a good shot. ohhhhh you have to press that button. i don't want to press the button. press the f-ing button i don't wanna. do it ooooo. oh

oh *bystanders laugh at the situation* what's happening? wait. if i tase my- do it now no yessss *the sound of pain* *and then laughter cause pewds is spazzing out* jesus christ

ah i love it oh, that reaction was everything i hoped it would be *pewds tries to shock innocent bystander and fails* my balls fucking hurt, man. yeah, it's an ache for a while. it really hurts *jack-a-boy's turn* *feel the burn* *damn pewdiepie.*

*markimoo's turn* *that looks painful*

*and a bunch of bad decisions* hit the plug button *exasperated markimoo sigh* ah, my balls dude