Malawa Dog

''god please help us incompleting the task...'' ''we are undertaking...without any hurdles'' ''we are responsible for our deathand no one should be blamed'' ''chandu, balu, kamesh'' that's why l trusted this bottle ofpoison instead of that branch.

Malawa Dog, ln few hours...l will be in heaven. did you prepare before drinking?- what do you mean? oh! l forgot to shake it. you deserved for what you are.this is expired.

then l'll not die?- why won't you? lf l push you down. ''you fools! now-a-days, even todie you need a master plan.'' look over there. the super fast trainis coming. no one has survived yet. come on...let us lie down and die... come fast. the train is leavingwithout killing us... our fate is so bad that evendeath doesn't come near us. he is planning to die.- come let's go. pull him out.

where am l?- you are near jubilee hills. ''then am l still alive?- yes, sir. we saved your life.'' why is he hitting him?- after all these efforts... l thought l'll die. you spoilteverything. l'll kill you. ''along with him, kill us too.we are waiting to die.'' ''even you 3 were here to die?- yes, sir.'' you all are so young...what compelled you to die? l'm an accountant. l should calculatefaster than a calculator. once l made a mistake. so l was sackedfrom my job without any intimation.

my story is a very heart-touching.once in my office... l told my colleague to switch onthe fan on my table... so they trapped me for briberyand kicked me out of my job. can't you work without the fan?- l can't sleep peacefully. ''unlike them, l don't have any problemsat office. but l've family problems.'' ''though l've been married for 4 months,our first night was never performed.'' ''why? at this age, are you impotent?- he was an undergarment salesman...'' but he married a girl saying a liethat he is a software engineer. ''just after the marriage when she cameto know the truth, she pushed him out.''

''let's forget ours. you seem to bea millionaire with a car, bungalow...'' but why were you compelled to die? my name is lakshmi narayan. l'm theproprietor of 'govinda and co.'. the hair oil produced in my companyremoved hair rather than nourishing... hence people were aggravatedand wanted to kill me. so l closed the company.- lt was a great deed! my detergent soaps burnt clothesbut cleaned dirty tiles very well. all this is due to my evil deedsin my previous birth. lt wasn't for your evil deedsbut it's because of your luck.

then it was incense sticksfactory. a married couple on their firstnight of their marriage... used our incense sticks andthe bride vomited... so she got pregnant just foryour incense sticks? she vomited because she couldn't bearthe odor of those incense sticks. ''now, l understand the depthof your problems.'' you're facing four problems.- what is the fourth? lt's the name of your company...! ''lmmediately, change the name from'govinda and co.' to ' lucky and co.'''

don't be so perplexed.' lucky' is your name. ' lucky' is the short form ofyour name lakshmi narayana. regarding your first problem...'govinda hair oil' launch it again as' lucky hair remover' in the market. lntroduce the same detergent soapfor tiles and not for clothes. ''launch those incense sticks as' lucky mosquito repellent coil'' excellent! l thought you were ordinary people... but you are extraordinary!- so those weren't ordinary ideas?

yes. why?- won't you pay for the super ideas? ''ldiot! you've given such great ideasand asking ''won't you pay?'' name it and l'll give you anything.- will you give us rs.3000? you are always anundergarment salesman! ''lf it is granted, we've to come to thesame spot and hang ourselves again.'' ''then what shall we ask for?- minimum rs 100,000.'' his company hasn't profited yet.lt's not good to be so greedy. we'll ask a job with a 5000 pay.- 5000? what are you discussing so much?- since you like us...

we were discussing our salariesfor the job you will offer us. ''you wanted to ask this?l'll give rs.10,000.'' ''ls it the sum of all our salaries?- no. l'll give rs. 10,000 each.'' you are stinking. haven't you brushedyour teeth since morning? l thought... why to waste pastewhen l had decided to die. ''l am impressed. tomorrow,join your job in the morning.'' ''govinda and co.'' ''chaos in a gathering'' ''lf these three unitethen it's a chaos''

''lf they work hand-in-handthere will be a chaos'' ''they make gold out of waste'' ''their ideas are great...they can bring about miracles'' ''nobody can equal them'' stop it! lnitially you used to visit alone... now your entire team is here.- lt's a sacred oblation of fire. even are you a priest?- no. l'm a servant of the priest. when did you come?- l came just now.

rather than chanting...can't we sing some duets? you shouldn't say like this to thesacred ritual. say sorry to god. since the day l got married toyou l've been doing the same. ''before our wedding, your parentssaid you were elder...'' l thought you werethe eldest daughter... ''but l never thought, they had said,you were elder to me!'' ''elders say, it takes a thousand liesto make a marriage possible.'' but they never said to make this housea hell by performing these rituals. do you know everyone in the apartmentare speaking ill about you?

today there's an eclipse.- lf we don't perform this ritual... you will not prosper in life.- your mother said this? you always shout at me.- lt's not so dear... you are making our kidsorthodox like you. l'll not prosper in life bydoing all these rituals... then what should l do for that? satisfy my needs. the first is toembrace you like this. l have been fasting for 6 weeksin the name of god... l am reducing my weightbut nothing else.

l was kidding.you look good like this. what are all these packets?- this is a sari for you. this is my salary.- thanks to the goddess! what's this?- these are... sweets for tonight. eating this sweet at nightwill reduce my weight? not for thatlt's for that...! today there's an eclipse and you'vebrought some dirty things like this? wait..!you are throwing...? shouldn't waste money on petty things.- then give the money back...

l've to give it to the priest. share it among yourselves.- god bless you. never come again. why are you taking it?- for that... today there's an eclipse.will your wife accept it? she may not but...my other lady will agree. since ages women are beingexploited by men... wives are beatenfor no reason... or are brutally killedlt is habitual for men.

what an argument! what a style!divorce is definite. the way she argues...l feel like watching her forever. ''lf she is arguing, you must hear.why are you feeling like seeing her?'' ''are you married?- no, sir.'' what's your age? you are old...better get married soon. to prove this do you've any evidence?- yes. lt's ready. what is this?- when she is back home after a... ''hectic day, she is unable to sleepbecause of his dreadful snore!''

was it a snore? when did you come?- when you were arguing. who is he?- my junior. ''okay.now, you leave...'' until you marry... play with this. ''now, you are exactly like theheroine of ''titanic''.'' who are you...?why are you in our vicinity? why has my life turned like this? that chair belongs to madam.- she's my wife. mind your business.

ln this angle... you are exactlylike actress aishwarya rai. turn back...you'll find actor salman khan. hold this. who are you?why are you in my vicinity? why are you seated on madam's seat? madam has a very bright future. what are you doing here? ''ls it so? since you were reading herhands, l thought you are an palmist.'' l'll arrange a greatsetting for you. lf he is angered...he will spoil my image.

lf he would've held your hand onceagain l would've crushed his image. ''you've to be broad-minded, kamesh.get a glass of milk for him.'' when will you get a glass ofmilk on our first night...? tonight... what's this?- lt's for you. l have bought this for you with love.- ls it a bath robe? lt's a transparent nightiewhich enhances your beauty. ''so, should l wear it now?- wear it now, later on l'll...'' then you wear it.- me?

are you feeling shy? please go out.l am referring some important case. then what about my case?- postponed for 2 weeks. no way. forget your judgmentand wear this nightie. don't disturb me. lf l win thiscase then l'll be promoted. ''so, l've to control my emotions?'' ''lf this is continued, l'll go out...- and what will you do?'' l will sell these nightiesand buy two shirts. your wish. go and sleep in veranda.- but before that... do you know what is the unwantedthing around here?

''yes, l do know its our clothes.'' so we will be awake allthrough the night? not the entire night. lt is onlybetween 9p.m to 1 a.m. this is real and not a shooting. ''oh god, why does this bell ringseven at this hour?'' l'll be back.don't sleep. coming.... why is he here now?- ls madam priya inside? she has gone out.- she went out?

why are you here? any urgent news?- yes. l had sent your stills... to our mumbai director...- lt has been rejected? he has a talent for writing.they have liked your stills a lot. let's discuss it inside.- he'll be coming here tomorrow. he'll do some photo sessions with you.you got to be as fresh as an apple... in the refrigerator. lt's betterto have an early night today is my first night.- but you've been married for long. never had the first night yet...?- you know where is bin laden? no.- know why virappan was divorced?

l don't know that too.- lf you don't know those... then what'll you doknowing about us? leave now. you may have many nights...but you get an opportunity only once. great photographer! ''you don't want me to be a star?- yes, l want you to be.'' then why did you insult him? with great difficulty our first nighthad begun... why he had to interfere? first night?l am not in a mood for that. take this and get out.- l'll go.

l'll never make it l guess.all these flowers are a waste. decorate yourself withthose flowers... thief! ''lt's not thief. lt's me, your husband.- lt's you? lt's early morning?'' ''why are you praying now?- lt's early morning, right?'' morning?lt is not even late night. then why did you wake me?- for that... are you scared to go to bathroom?l'll take you. come. where is baby?- she is sleeping there.

why?- because... tonight... you are looking very beautiful.- you are being naughty. lf l wasn't naughty then howdid we have two kids? why don't we do it now?- we'll do it. for this l am following a ritual...don't touch me until the ritual ends. how'll you have kids without me?- children will be disturbed. make her sleep here.and you sleep in veranda. ''lt's raining, come near me honey.'' you threw me out in the night.

and now you are calling me...?l will not leave this chance. you are giving me your leg...lt's okay. l'll adjust. what's happened?why are they sleeping in veranda? chandarashekar sir... balachandra sir... what happened to you?- he tried to pull my sari. what will he do?... he would'vewashed it and given it back. why are you sleeping outside?- last night our wives... why are you kicking me?- am l not speaking to her?

last night there was no power supply.- but there was supply in my house. yours is single phaseours is triple phase. so all of you weresleeping here? you don't have supplyin your body...! t.v anchor...- what's it? there she goes...!- let's get out of here. great devotee...come here. what happened?- your husband tried to pull my sari. what is this? what's wrong with you?- l thought it was you...?

lt isn't his fault.lt's your fault. just because you want to be good ont.v... you shouldn't do this to him. husband is like a flameof a candle. you should always protect him frombreeze with your hands. ln case if his flame blows off.- lt will light elsewhere? ''what's good about it, lawyer madam?lt's good to hear...'' but you'll know how it feelswhen it happens to you. you may win in the courtarguing on matters... but a lady has to win in the house.he is your judge.

lf you change your direction thenyour life will be topsy-turvy. well said!- you are no less. you believe in rituals and you aregreat devotee who think that... god will be angered if youare with your husband! ''look, in great epic ramayana...sita never abandons her...'' husband n.t.rao in any ofhis difficulties. ''not actor n.t rao, it is lord rama.- whatever!'' l remember onlythe actor n.t.rao well. listen to me... he will be your manif he sleeps with you...

else there will be no differencebetween wife and a servant. you advised us so well.why didn't you marry? l got married long time back.- really? when? with whom? with my raja....25 years back... we both lived in opposite houses. he liked me a lot... he couldn'tleave me for a second... ''once when l was ill, since l couldn'twalk up to the temple...'' he brought the idle to my house. but my ill-fate...separated us.

till now l've been waitingfor him... l am waiting for the day whenhe'll accept me... ''look lady, you'll know his valueonly in his absence.'' hence worship your husband...harmonize and live happily together. no. lt's a sin.- you'll never change. let the milk make me wealthy. eat well.and give lots of milk. ''parvathy, why are your cowswearing glasses?'' now a days they areacting too smart.

they are on strike that they'll notgive milk without green grass. where will l get green grassin this city? ''hence, l made them wear green colouredglasses and gave then dry hay.'' you are not an ordinary lady. youmust be know as ' fitting parvathy' your idea is super.- thanks. give me a pair of glasses too.- why do you want? even l want to control my wife.- hence you haven't seen first night. like the way l tackled my cows... l will give an idea totackle your wives too.

how?- your wives are always at home. ''take them to movies,sight seeing, shopping...'' the salary we get isn't sufficientto manage the house... ''yesterday, my wife spent the entiremoney for that ritual...'' now how shall l take herfor movies...? why can't you ask me?- you? for interest? l doubt you'll give me the principalamount then how'll l...? anyway... l'll give you this time. take thismoney and enjoy with your wives. ''come here my queen...- come here my king...''

''let's roam on our scooter'' ''wait till l finish my make up'' ''colorful t.v...'' ''watching t.v is harmfulfor your eyes'' ''l am there to wash your clothes'' ''our neighbor have both...use their's'' ''let the summer cometo an end...'' ''how'll l buy whenl am penniless?'' ''l swear l'll buy it afterour first night''

''this ring will matchactress aishwarya rai'' ''lf we buy this we've to buy evenmedicines for skin disease'' ''then l'll haveto rob a bank'' ''l've a bad time asyou are my husband'' ''your husband is not richlike the tatas'' ''he doesn't buy anythingand he is a fraud?'' ''then why don't youhave an ice cream?'' ''he has grown his moustachefor name sake'' ''l am cheated by him''

''aren't you ashamed?- aren't you aggravated?'' ''we are free birds'' why are you banging those bundles?- because it is not our's. we toil... and lucky makes money.- lt's not good to say so. he gave us jobs...don't speak against him. we aren't being recognized and paidfor the efforts that we put in. now what happened?- you didn't understand him? but l did. lsn't it for our idea thatour owner is earning so much... why are we awarded noteven a fraction of it?

he is getting bundles of currenciesbut we get bundles of worries. now what should we do?- let's request him to... ''increase our pay else we'll threaten,we'll quit and join other factory.'' he is trying to commit suicide again.- you'll die... leave me...don't stop me. sit down.- l'm saved again. l want to die! what is this... always youspeak of death? can't you think something else?- how can l...? people have problems in theirlife but l live in problems.

we gave you ideas and hadsolved your problems... ''again there are problems?- not one or two, l've 3 problems.'' why is it that you always comeup with 3 problems? my difficulties are 3 ladies.- ln this old age you've 3 ladies? your body is as strong as ' mrf tyre'- shut up. ''they are my daughters and with lovel named then aney, anju, manju.'' since they were motherless...l pampered them a lot. for higher studies l sent them toamerica too. that was my mistake. what happened?- l had a close friend of mine.

l promised to get my daughtersmarried to his sons. but now my daughters are sayingthe world has changed... so they'll choose their men andare against arranged marriages. what they say is correct.- what is correct? now a days people love notthe person but money. ''lf they are entrapped by such men,what will happen to their lives?'' hence... l had promisedmy friend... lf l can't keep up my promise...what is this life for? ''lf you want to catch a running bus,we need to run along with the bus.''

did l ask you an ideafor catching a bus? what he meant was we have to goin their way and advise them. how's it possible?- l'll give a marvelous idea. what are you whispering? we'll search for threesmart men and... they'll be introduced to yourdaughters and make them fall in love. ''when they are deeply in love, we'lltell them that they are fraud.'' then your daughters willchange their minds and say... ''daddy, we have learnt a lessonbecause we didn't listen to you''

''your choice will be our choice.we'll marry whom you choose'' thus they'll be on your track. l liked your idea too much. but where will we get those3 young men so fast? give us a week's time andwe'll find them. not needed...l have found those 3 young men. found them?who are those fools? you three. get up.

we have terrific wives with us.please don't do the same again. my wife is my life...l can't cheat her. shut up.- l'll fall at your feet... my wife acts in t.v serials..if she knows about this... then she'll abandon me andjoin movies forever... shut up! lt was you guys whosaid it would be a pretense... why do you think l'veselected you three? ''you all are intelligent, trustworthy and are married.'' so you will not cross yourlimits with my daughters.

l've to see my safety too. right?- we can't. l also have 2 kids. shut up. lf you don't agree for this thenyou'll lose your jobs... he is not m.d. he is mad!l'll not agree for this proposal. this salary wasn't enough forher cosmetics and dresses... now if l am sacked then she willlook down upon me. my wife...!she is the mother of justice! she can never make money byencouraging injustice. ''lf she collects money from her clients,it would at least help in petty things.''

''forget my problems...chandu, you have 2 kids...'' you are the sole-earner of the family.at least you think about it. l have a loving wife. lsn't it wrongfor me to freak out with a girl? how can it be wrong?lt's all a drama. there are film actors. though theyhave their wives at home they go... to foreign countries to sing duet.- lt's all acting. even l want you to do the same. what did shakesphere say?- how'll l know? ''l'm from telugu medium.- ''life is a drama''

''drama, right?even we will be just actors.'' but will never thinkof cheating our wives. l am thinking a lot about it.- what's it? l am stepping into acting... ''actors like nagarjuna, venkateshwill've to suffer because of me.'' ''can the ethiopian change his skin'' why are you guys still here? l am ready.- even l am ready. how about him?- even he is ready.

we've a small doubt.- what's it? your daughters who are studyingin america are good-looking? ''they don't resemble me, they resembletheir mother and they are beautiful.'' those beautiful girls will love us?- definitely. you will not be like this...you'll have a different look. the new style suitsyou all very well. who are you?- lt's me kamesh. lt's you? l was wondering who couldit be with this french beard. why is this dog barking?

am l tied to the dog or thedog is tied to me? don't make unnecessary comments.lt's a dog and it will bark. my daughter anju loves dogs. she'll love the dog firstand then the master. we'll do as you say. but our salary...- l was coming to it... ''from today, your salary willbe increased to 25,000.'' coming back to the topic...this guest house will be your office. ''let's dance break-dancelet's dance shake-dance'' ''let's be like free birdslet's ride motor bikes''

''we will show theworld what we are'' ''let's cat-walk in jeans...guys are waiting in the junction'' ''let's chat in the pub...and dance in the disco club'' ''we've atm cards and anythingis possible with this'' ''we are equivalent to 'spice girls'we like everything which is jazzy'' ''let's sing our dream song'' ''let's give flying kiss to guys'' ''college is to pass our time....teenage is for having fun'' ''we enjoy sending e-mailsand love non-stop chatting''

''let's dance with boys'' ''to express love, people in 40's usedgramophone and in 60's used telephone'' ''ln 80's it was through microphonesand latest is cell phones'' ''oh god, you have given me avariety of daughters'' ''you should've food near the swimmingpool and not in the dining hall'' they said so and broughtthis table here. l feel like a beggar havingalms on the road. where are my daughters? what is this nuisance. why do youwant to keep this dog on the table?

don't call it dog.lt's name is 'aisu'. call up the apollo hospital.- what happened? are you ill? l am fine.lt's for my aisu. everyday he used to wish me in themorning. but today he didn't. very good.how good it is...? l'll call up the doctor.he'll check it up. have your breakfast.where are other two? why are you hitting those? what will you have?

what kind of dress areyou wearing? she is crazy about dogs...she is crazy about boxing... you are crazy about spider man. sons of ranga rao... will go madthe moment they marry you. we've told you before we don'tlike arranged marriages. ''lf you speak about them again,we'll leave to america.'' ''book the tickets to america instantly.- no, don't say such things.'' l love you all a lot. from todayl'll not speak about them. tomorrow is my birthday.how's my dress?

lt's good.- lt is called dalmatian style. present me a dalmatian dogas my gift. till date l haven't seen such dogs.then how shall l get it? ''lf you don't get it,l'll fly off to america.'' what do you feel when you seethe dog in middle... lt looks as though it is sufferingfrom illness and may die any moment. l should hit myself with theseshoes since l recruited you. this dog is dalmatian. tomorrow present thisto my daughter anju.

how can we do it so instantly?we need some time. l said the same to her. so shesaid she will go to america. do whatever you like... but tomorrow you should presentthis dog to her when we meet. ''no matter what you try, this isa stray dog... not a dalmatian.'' don't be tensed. just watchhow l color it... at the end you'll seea dalmatian dog. ''whatever... do it fast.- be patient, it's almost finished.'' have a look at thisdalmatian dog.

ls it a dalmatian dog?do you have brains? don't just jump into conclusions. where did you get this?- l got it from lucky. have a peg. lt's good.- how is our dalmatian? both are different.- then that wasn't enough. this isn't the dalmatian...that is the one... ''lucy, you do your duty.'' who are you?

run...- you are stealing my dog? who do you think l am?stop! we are coming...there she is. am l a dog? what's your name? l hate if anybody say anythingagainst it. me too. you are here? l am coming.

you were lucky to come outbefore it attacked. then my dalmatian?- lt's there. dear friends...have a look at this brave act. he is a courageous...and unbelievable hero... he'll climb this building. this plan may cost my life...will this plan be successful? l am an expert in climbingtrees since childhood. you just need to climb only one floor.l'll be ready wearing a similar dress. like a duplicate in movies...l'll climb the rest of the floors.

you thief!you are here. spider man!- hurrah! where is my dog?- l will give you an elephant instead. l want my dog. why is he after me atthis crucial time? at last you've arrived. come join me.- that police is after me for the dog. come to next floor.l'll join you there. ''stop it, l know how hardit is to climb.'' change your dress.- how can l change?

he has made me to loseall my strength. have this rope and climb one morefloor. l'll join you there. what is this rope for?- l'll tell you. where is my dog?- lt's here... that's good. ls he going to die there?- he is over-acting. dog? now you go inside and...go down. at last l got rid of him. manju wait.listen to me.

l have come...to face the challenge. l'll climb the remaining floors...- next you need to reach the sky. sky? you climbed all the floors...?- no! your father did it? move! should ban such useless cars. she is gorgeous.- what do you think you are? you are so smooth...like a model for lux soap. lux babe! carry her...

leave me. wake up. you are fast asleep?- ls the fight finished? there's only one man.you take care of him. will he not hit me back?- he seems weak. you can hit him. then l'll take care. ''ls it true that l have fallenin love with you?'' ''you can't stop yourselffrom falling in love'' ''can't l see the image now...'' ''which was hidden inmy heart till now''

''you are everything to me...you are my happiness'' ''and l am yours forever'' ''ln whatever path you go...'' ''l'll follow you'' ''your smile can relieve my pain'' ''and bequest happinessin my life'' ''your simple gestures...allured me to you...'' ''and l was enthralledby your love'' ''ls love a journey whose destinyis an endless happiness?''

''sweetheart, that's the strengthof our love'' ''you are in my thoughts...you are in my dreams'' ''your love has changed my world'' ''no fragrance is betterthan yours...'' ''lt is soliciting me tounite with you'' ''l want to see youeverywhere...'' ''l want you to be inmy heart forever'' ''l want every breath ofmine to say your name'' ''l want to live only for you''

''ln a fraction of a secondyou captured me'' ''secretly, you captured me too'' ''lnstead of this old song, can't wesing some other song for this ritual?'' why do you want tohinder the prayers? since childhood l've been listeningto this song. lt's boring. just imagine the plightof the goddess... we know only this song. you maysing if you know a better song. ''me?- yes, you sing...'' one good song.

''okay, l'll sing for you both.'' the sari l'm wearing is good.lsn't it? my sari is better than yours.lsn't it? what is this song...?- children are laughing... elders say if the children laughthen god will smile at us. the last ritual is going on...- let's join them. ''parvathy, come here.- coming.'' ''she isn't married, why should yougive the god's offering to her?'' don't say so. we are livinghappily with our husband.

but she is waiting for himsince childhood. she doesn't even know if heis alive or not. but still she is waitingfor him eagerly. hence she is superiorto all of us. your raja will definitely cometo you. take this. take it.she is telling the truth. people teased me that hewould never be back... and l had cried for years... but when you proclaimed thathe will return...

you have brought the strengthin me to wait for him. l wish that you live happilywith your family... forever. don't cry.calm yourself. at last you've been awardedthe padmashree. l don't think l deserve such agreat award for my simple deed. what have you thought aboutour children's marriage? even l am trying for the same.they have just arrived. please fix a date for their marriage.my children are troubling me a lot. salutations!- don't bring lndian politics here.

you greet everyone on your waybe it a man or an animal. why do you want to greet them?- since they said ' hi!'... l thought they are at ahigher position than you. they are nothing in their lives.they are just my employees! he is my closest friend. yet to bemy daughters' father-in-law. why are you staring...?greet him. l must leave. l've an urgent work.- don't worry about the marriage. lt'll be settled very soon.- see you soon. ''dear men, instead offollowing our plans...''

you've made a very longjourney of love. come back to neutral gearthen put a reverse gear. be villains and end everything. ''later my daughters should say''daddy, we are enlightened'' ''we don't want love marriage andwe agree for arranged marriage'' they should fall to my feetand say all this. we were so happy... suddenly hewants us to cheat our lovers... ''and put an end for all this?now, what shall we do?'' we should do as he has asked us to do.- l don't agree.

a poor can live as richbut a rich can't live as a poor. so what shall we do?- there's only one way out. you mean...?- let's make this pretense of love... a truth... by marrying them. correct! only then will that luckyfall to our feet for forgiveness. lf we marry them... then my lakshmi?- what are you speaking? rubbish. on that day if wewould've committed suicide... wouldn't they have been abandoned? rather than being a destitutewithout us...

let them lead a royal life with us. though you are right...l should tell my wife... l'll kill you.- lt's not that... let's speak to them and get theiragreement for the marriage. you are going to do it?- yes. make your wife agree for it. we'll not have any complications.- somehow l find it right. lsn't it?- okay. l'll accept your suggestion. how many wives do lord venkatesha has?- two of them. for lord shiva?- two of them... parvathy and ganga.

for lord kumara swamy?- malli and devayani. then l think only lord ganapathyis a bachelor. who said he was a bachelor?you are weak in mythology. even he is married.their names are siddi and buddi. then for lord chandu?- two... you are making fun of me? by the way why are askingthese questions now? ''god has 2 wives, right?now what did you understand?'' l understand that they are god. to make humans equal to god...our government laws says...

''we are two... we have two''''- then is it applicable for me too?'' ''that is old... the latest is''we are two and have one'' here 'one' depicts one child and 'two'depicts a wife and a husband. salutations!- please be seated. do you speak the truth?- l say only truth. then l'll have to leave.- wait. where are you going? l want someone who say lies. ''now, l'll tell you a horoscopeand you write accordingly.'' money?you'll give or should l give?

how can l cheat you when l wantyou to cheat someone else. l'll give you handful of currenciesand you've to write what l say. tell me.- write down... lt's you? l just droppedyour wife to your house. are you here to knowyour horoscope? now it's your bad time...go now. should l say your horoscopeor will you say? you choose it. are you searching foryour brains?

no. lt's not that.l've 2 spots on my head. so what?- lf we have 2 spots then... we'll have 2 marriages.- we'll ask my mother. ''your mother, police officer...? why towaste money on long distance calls?'' lt's no longer a long distance callas she is transferred here. hit him... hard. what happens if thereare 2 spots on one's head? they'll have 2 marriages. why are you crying?- he has 2 spots on his head.

what's it son-in-law?- yes. l saw 2 spots. don't worry. those 2 spots will nolonger be there by this evening. how can you eliminate birth spots?- when a man has an innocent wife... ''like you, he get spotsall over their head.'' why do you worry?have peace of mind. hit him... why did you take me for shopping?also we are here in a restaurant? l don't know how to say that to you?have a look at it. a horoscope? whose is it?- lt's mine.

l may die any moment. to solve this l shouldget married again. remarriage?- l can't see you as a widow. ''why will l be a widow?l'll remarry, the moment you die.'' did l disturb you?- he is disturbing me. what happened?- what is the urgency to know? ''let him know. after you're gone,l need some friends to share my pain.'' where is he going?- as per the horoscope he'll die soon. lt is matched!

what is matched?- on that day l showed my horoscope... what did he say? l am like the revolutionaryraja ram mohan roy... l am lucky to marry a widow. lf he dies...l'm here to marry you. did you ask him when you will die?- l forgot. l'll go now and ask him. not needed.- why? take this.- have you stopped praying? l'll never commit such a sin.- then why are you removing these?

not all photos. l'm removing thosephotos of gods who have 2 wives. please drown all thesein the well. wait! why are you removing this...he is bachelor. there should be no bachelorsin the house. ln this house only one god will beworshiped. that is lord rama. unbelievable! lf she can remove thesewhich was worshiped daily then... yes. well how did your wife react?- don't ask my plight... what happened to kamesh?- he is very clever. he would have trapped herwith a master plan.

the person in the middlelooks like kamesh. lt is kamesh.but why is he wearing a helmet? lt is not a helmet...he is made bald. why is he made like this?- some filthy ideas were born. ''hence, l thought of clearingthem off in a pious way.'' with my temperamental...he should have been dead... but l remembered that he is myson-in-law and was saved. even you two. ''shut up, you bald! lnstead ofenjoying our marital lives...''

we risked our lives forsome petty money. lt's all because of your suggestion.else we could've been enjoying. ''lf they don't agree, what can we do?- lf you get food in the house...'' do you stop going for a hotel?lf our wives disagree... why should we stopourselves from getting married? you are right. l prefer beingwith manju than my wife. then my wife?- ls lnnocent. let she think you are a...man with only one wife. but we can manage it by keeping themin dark. we'll maintain it secretly.

how is it possible?- lt's automatic. lt's an old fashion to learn swimmingin a pool and then plunge into the sea now-a-days directly plunge into thesea and you'll learn automatically. didn't you understand?even you didn't understand? ''they know how to coolthe hot babes'' ''they can please them bysinging sweet songs''' ''they fulfill the wishesof their wives'' ''they meet their loversin a secret place'' ''they manage and enjoy food bothinside and outside the house''

''these are the mastersof all the time'' ''they create a chaos...'' ''lf they are united'' mr.ram rao...- hurrah! you three of us be seatednear the pool... we'll get butterscotchice-creams for you. feeling so good here.- hope we could stay back. ''why are you going inside a bar?- ' butter' for them, 'scotch' for us.'' let's have 2 pegs... and enjoy!

l'm from 'gemini t.v'.l'll ask each of you a question. ''lf you answer them correctly,you'll win a trip to singapore.'' you answer... you say...- you may ask. ls it better to get married and thenlove or marry and then love? lt's better to get marriedand then love. because love before weddingis like digging a well for water. my wife...? we may find water or we may notor we may find salty water too. lt's a live show.- they are our families.

they look much betteron the screen. my vision is the same.lt's better to marry and then love. mine too. our girls...! marrying without love is likeblindly hitting a target. you may hit else life is a havoc. when did they give an interview?- all are here! lt's live telecast! ''though you are a minister, you arehere with so less protection?'' you are also in the hit listof the terrorists.

how can we serve people if we fearfor death? let them kill. l will accept deathwhile serving country. lf you love then you'llknow the power of it. you'll know the pleasures of marriageonly after the marriage. are your husbands so great?show them. they are gentlemen.they are busy in their office. don't yap so much. show your lovers.let's have a look at them. we'll show them immediately...you'll have a shock of your life. my original wife.- where are you all?

original bomb! ''which is the way to go out, sir?- how do l know? go out and ask.'' where is the bomb?- there's a big bomb next to me. why are you circling around the globe?- pumpkin! globe is circling around me l've heard this voice somewhere. pumpkins...!- he is hawker. you want it? yes.- 2 pumpkins please...! there's a bomb in it...! lt's a bomb!l am telling you...

where is priya? come fast... let's get out from here...- move fast. time bomb is defused. everybody has left me alone...where shall l go?